it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
