I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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