i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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