I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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