Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize