I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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