Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
she peed on how many people?
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
