Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
FUCK WHALES
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
