You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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