Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
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