im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
