did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize