I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
