Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize