Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
