On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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