Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
