I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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