whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
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