Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
