bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
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