ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
