Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
