Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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