my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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