Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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