Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
