love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Text me some of your sweat
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
