Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize