I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
