I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
