you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
