He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
only you would photoshop your dick
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
