Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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