i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
its liver damage thursday
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
