I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
