the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
