You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
