We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
