It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Randomize
