I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I need water and some morals
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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