I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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