I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
