is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize