So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
