fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
