Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Randomize
