wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
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