Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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