There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
