My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
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