oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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