"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Randomize
