HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize