I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
People with herpes should wear stickers.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize