ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize