No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
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