69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize