think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
