It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I just found puke in my bra..
She even gives head with a lisp.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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