conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
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