He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
