i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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