dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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